I’ll tell you a secret…
On Friday evening I took a very long shower, found an excuse to write some code and basically cowered in my hotel room for about 2 hours before I forced myself to “grasp the nettle” and walked into the lobby, full of people I’d never met. Doing that was not a small thing. After all, I’m a slightly geeky and fairly unsociable programmer; certainly no “networker.”
The result? A charming American lady who had never been to Bristol before said she really fancied fish & chips, so we jumped in the car and went for a (rather random) tour of the city before stopping at the top of Whiteladies Road for some grub. (Wow: you can actually find somewhere to park in Clifton on a Friday night!)
Back at the hotel she was kind enough to introduce me to a couple of traffic exchange owners with whom I chatted for a while, which lead to meeting some other people, and so it went on.
The following evening, empowered, I flew through the shower to get back to the bar and introduce myself to some of the more high-profile people whose work I admire. Guess what? Without exception they were open, charming, forthcoming with their ideas and generally excellent company.
Towards the end of the conference a lady asked the panel, with more than a hint of bitterness I thought, “how do I break into the cliques of male marketers at the bar in order to speak to them?” The question saddened me because I believed her problem was not one of gender but one of shyness. As a total unknown I had met dozens of people through the simple tactic of chatting with them; walking up, saying “Hi my name’s Alex,” and chatting.
Not badgering, pitching, moaning or hassling mind you; just chatting.
Of course I didn’t go from shrinking violet to life & soul overnight! Ironically one of the people I was keen to meet, but still a little apprehensive of approaching, came up to me. “Excuse me,” he said, “I hear you’re a programmer…”
Amit Mehta (from PPC Classroom) made his audience close their eyes - “I’m walking out of the room if everyone doesn’t close their eyes right now!” - draw an imaginary box - the “Comfort Box” around their feet, then physically jump out of that box to pave the way for a better future. Sadly he didn’t specify whether to jump left or right, which lead to one or two collisions..
I was laughing then, because I’d already jumped out of my comfort box the previous evening, and the view is wonderful.
Tags: networking2 Comments
Hey Alex!
Great meeting you at the event
Thanks for sharing your experience - it’s more common than people realise. When the woman asked the question, I muttered pretty much the same thing, in my head, that you did - it wasn’t about gender but about shyness and not feeling confident.
Even though people would say that I’m confident, my nerves experience a slight rattle just before I enter a room full of people I’ve never met.
I agree with your approach - just walk up, introduce yourslf and just start chatting - be interested in finding out about others and focus on them, not on you.
Life gets so much richer every time we step outside of our comfort box!
Susanne
http://www.TheSinglesGym.com
Feels great doesn’t it. Bristol was also my first networking event and was a real eye-opener. It’s amazing how approachable and open everyone was and it was great to chew the fat. It was funy because the few people who did try the direct pitch approach seemed to fall flat on their Arse. I’d much prefer to get top know someone first.
You made a great move there. Look forward to seeing you at the next event.
Marc.